Chp. 35 Muted Group Theory

Chapter 35, Muted Group Theory, argues that language is man-made and excludes women, and that if women cease to be muted, men will no longer be dominant in society. A muted group, according to this chapter, is a powerless group whose perspective is not heard in society. Now, this does not mean that their perspective is silent to others, it simply means that others in opposition choose to ignore it. This theory reminds me of an experience in high school which really changed our class, and entire school all together. When I was a senior in high school, I had a friend, Sarah, who really wanted to join the football team as their kicker (she was an awesome soccer player for our school). She had wanted to try out for the team since her freshman year, but when she approached the coach about it, he laughed in her face and told her to support the team by joining the cheerleading squad. She was very upset by this, and the next year, started a petition to let her join the team. She got the signature of every female at our school (and a few guys), including the female teachers and even some of our mothers. But still, the coach was relentless and did not want to even hear about a girl playing for his team. Finally, the summer going into our senior year, the coach let Sarah try out for the team as kicker. She, along with all the other male players, had to endure in harsh days of double-session practices, lifting, etc. It was hard for her, but she made it through. The coach was impressed with how much she had dedicated herself to the team, and come fall, he gave her a uniform and a helmet. She stood on the sidelines for most of the season, until one game that changed our school forever. Our first string kicker twisted his ankle and wouldn't be able to kick, so the coach put in Sarah to take his place. We were down by two points, with 8 seconds left in the game, and Sarah was up to kick. She went out onto the field and the crowd went crazy for her. She had been waiting so long for this opportunity. Needless to say, she kicked that ball as hard as her little body could and she made the 2 points for our team, advancing us to the state final. This experience relates to Muted-Group theory because it agrees with the thought that if women cease to be silent, men will no longer be dominant in society. Although Sarah is only one person, she changed the opinion of almost every man in the crowd that night. And that, folks, is what I call feminism.

Chp. 34 Standpoint Theory

Chapter 34, Standpoint Theory, says that your position in your society's social hierarchy affects how objective your perceptions will be in given situations, and that the lower your position, the more objective your perceptions. In class we discussed four marginalized groups. These groups include women, the poor, racial minorities, and homosexuals. I have to say, I totally support this theory and I don't think it could be any truer to what it states. Being a Kent State student on such a diverse campus, I see these marginalized groups everyday. I give a lot of credit to these groups, too, because it takes a lot of courage to stand up to the powerful. As a white, upper-middle class female, I've never really had to worry about being in a position where I would feel threatened, taken advantage of, or inferior to someone else. Although I am a woman, and women are in the marginalized groups, I have other characteristics in my life that make me a part of the "powerful." I remember watching the tv a few years ago and all I would ever see was "Should Gay Marriage be Legal?" across the screen. At the time it didn't really phase me, but now that I have gotten a little bit older, and especially from learning about these marginalized groups in class, I feel so terrible for them. I sometimes think how upset I would be if the government told me I couldn't marry the person I loved. These people have to spend the majority of their lives defending themselves, simply because of who they are. I have never been in that position, and I am lucky for that. But as a member of the "powerful people" I will do everything I can in the future to try and support these groups, and help them in their cause for acceptance.

Chp. 33 Genderlect Styles

I feel that chapter 33, Genderlect Styles, is an amazing theory! It's so true. I totally agree with the example in the book (p. 471-472) where the dialogue from When Harry Met Sally is used to show the miscommunication between men and women. It highlights Tannen's thoughts that men are concerned with status, while women are more concerned with intimacy. I see this problem occur so much, even just with my group of friends who are dating. The women are always asking, "Why would he say that? Doesn't he know it hurts my feelings? Is he shameless?"..while the men are saying, "Who cares? Don't take things so personally." And truly, as women, I feel we do. The miscommunication that occur between men and women are enormous sometimes, and even quite humorous. As much as I love Rick, sometimes when he talks I just want to say, "Shut up and listen to yourself!". I feel like all he talks about is how he wants to make so much money, and how he is the best at this and that, and how "..if I had the chance, I'd go back to that one game and do such and such differently, then we would have won for sure." He is so concerned about his status and he doesn't even know it. My friends make fun of him because he always has to have one up on us, getting the last word in to show us he "knows more" about everything. But truthfully, I see that in a lot of men. When I look at women, I see more of them trying to develop relationships and getting to know someone better, instead of talking about themselves and what they know is right, etc. Although there are occasions, which I'm sure many, where the table is flipped around and roles are reversed, I feel that the overall consensus would show that many people view men as status-driven, while women are more relationship oriented. And sometimes, as hard as some men and women try to communicate effectively, there's just no hope.

Chp. 31 Face-Negotiation Theory

Chapter 31, Face-Negotiation Theory, is an objective theory which links face and culture, conflict and individuals. The term "face" can be thought of as your self-image in public; the way you want others to see you. This theory really hits home with me because I used to be so worried about what other thought of me. In high school I pretty much had no self-confidence whatsoever, and I would get red over everything. And when I say everything, I mean everything. Well, one day when I was a freshman in high school, I was walking past a classroom (which, by the way, was where the love of my life, who was a senior, had a class and I just happened to walk by every day to see him) and slipped on a wet spot on the floor. Needless to say I turned into a tomato, almost in tears because I knew I had embarrassed myself in front of my crush. However, immediately, he stood up, came outside the classroom into the hall, helped me up, and said, "Hey, don't worry about it, I wiped out my freshman year, too, and it was down a flight of stairs!". In a way, I still appreciate him because he definitely saved a lot of face for me, considering he wasn't the only one who saw my horrific fall. Now, whenever I see someone fall, trip, have an incident of word vomit, or simply can't think think of the right thing to say, I always try and save face for them and make them feel a little more comfortable.

Chp. 30 Anxiety/Uncertainty Management Theory

Chapter 30, Anxiety/Uncertainty Management Theory is an objective, sociopsychological theory that deals with managing anxiety. Throughout this chapter, the term "mindfulness" can be seen within the reading. Mindfulness, as we learned in class, has to do with how much our anxiety will affect our communication. Everyone, no matter who they are, strives for communication with the least amount of misunderstandings as possible, otherwise known as effective communication. While learning about this chapter, I began thinking about my own experience with this theory. My boyfriend Rick and me always visit his friend, Manny, in Toledo. Manny, along with some new friends of his, attend medical school in Toledo, and we have been hanging out with them when we visit. The first time I met them, I felt that our communication was anything but effective communication. I was too concerned about messing up or sounding stupid in front of them to even really listen to what they were saying. I had SO much anxiety when first meeting all of these people, because I felt inferior (Spiral of Silence tie-in!) to them since they are all soon to be doctors. As I got to know them, however, I realized they are just regular people, and our communication became a lot more effective because I was able to let go of my anxiety of feeling stupid around them. I began with conscious incompetence (uneffective communication, but aware of it) and am now at a level with them that I can display conscious competence (thinking about communication and getting better at it). It is now easier for me to tolerate ambiguity with these medical students, therefore, my anxiety has gone down.

Chp. 29 Spiral of Silence

Chapter 29, Spiral of Silence, is a theory that says we live in fear of isolation, and have the ability to assess the public opinion. Spiral of Silence is termed as the increasing pressure people feel to conceal their views when they think they are the minority. In class, we watched the South Park clip when everyone thought Kenny had head lice. I thought that clip was a great example to show what Spiral of Silence encompasses and how it works in our society. I had my own Spiral of Silence experience around Christmas time with my boyfriends' family. Rick (my boyfriend) and his entire extended family are against abortion. Well, on Christmas, unaware of the family mentality, the topic came up about abortion and I shared that I was pro-choice. I cannot say I would have an abortion myself, but I do feel that it is someone's choice to do what they want. After seeing the reaction of Rick's family's faces, I quickly tried to change my view point and say that I was not being serious, and that "of course I thought abortion was wrong." I changed my own thought because I did not want to be looked down upon by his family, which, if I think about it, I know they would not think less of me even if they did know I was pro-choice. My fear of being isolated and labeled as the minority quickly changed my mind, and made me suppress my true feelings on the subject.

Chp. 28 Agenda-Setting Theory

Chapter 28, Agenda-Setting Theory, is an objective theory that says the media tells us what to think about (first level agenda-setting), and in some cases, how and what to think about it (second level agenda-setting). Framing, as we discussed in class, is a term referring to how audiences tend to select some aspects of a person and make them the MAIN focus. In class, we discussed how Hillary Clinton and Barak O'bama are being exploited for being a woman (Hil) and a black candidate (O'bama). These are traits of the candidates that should not be the deciding factor on their chance at becoming president, but should only be their normal, physical attributes. The public, as well as journalists, news reporters, etc, tend to focus on the information that is less important, and turn it into something so big that it can be the deciding factor in someone's vote. However, this chapter also tells us that not everyone is as affected by the media. There are three types of people who are greatly affected, and that is : People who feel a need for orientation; because they want something to talk about with their peers, people who feel relevance to the topic; such as those who have a relative or friend or husband over in Iraq, and those who simply feel uncertainty and want to know as much as they can about someone or something. With newer media effects, we are about to choose from an abundant amount of sources that fit our liking, however, it is up to us to decide what we buy into, and what we choose to think about for ourselves.