Chp. 33 Genderlect Styles

I feel that chapter 33, Genderlect Styles, is an amazing theory! It's so true. I totally agree with the example in the book (p. 471-472) where the dialogue from When Harry Met Sally is used to show the miscommunication between men and women. It highlights Tannen's thoughts that men are concerned with status, while women are more concerned with intimacy. I see this problem occur so much, even just with my group of friends who are dating. The women are always asking, "Why would he say that? Doesn't he know it hurts my feelings? Is he shameless?"..while the men are saying, "Who cares? Don't take things so personally." And truly, as women, I feel we do. The miscommunication that occur between men and women are enormous sometimes, and even quite humorous. As much as I love Rick, sometimes when he talks I just want to say, "Shut up and listen to yourself!". I feel like all he talks about is how he wants to make so much money, and how he is the best at this and that, and how "..if I had the chance, I'd go back to that one game and do such and such differently, then we would have won for sure." He is so concerned about his status and he doesn't even know it. My friends make fun of him because he always has to have one up on us, getting the last word in to show us he "knows more" about everything. But truthfully, I see that in a lot of men. When I look at women, I see more of them trying to develop relationships and getting to know someone better, instead of talking about themselves and what they know is right, etc. Although there are occasions, which I'm sure many, where the table is flipped around and roles are reversed, I feel that the overall consensus would show that many people view men as status-driven, while women are more relationship oriented. And sometimes, as hard as some men and women try to communicate effectively, there's just no hope.

Chp. 31 Face-Negotiation Theory

Chapter 31, Face-Negotiation Theory, is an objective theory which links face and culture, conflict and individuals. The term "face" can be thought of as your self-image in public; the way you want others to see you. This theory really hits home with me because I used to be so worried about what other thought of me. In high school I pretty much had no self-confidence whatsoever, and I would get red over everything. And when I say everything, I mean everything. Well, one day when I was a freshman in high school, I was walking past a classroom (which, by the way, was where the love of my life, who was a senior, had a class and I just happened to walk by every day to see him) and slipped on a wet spot on the floor. Needless to say I turned into a tomato, almost in tears because I knew I had embarrassed myself in front of my crush. However, immediately, he stood up, came outside the classroom into the hall, helped me up, and said, "Hey, don't worry about it, I wiped out my freshman year, too, and it was down a flight of stairs!". In a way, I still appreciate him because he definitely saved a lot of face for me, considering he wasn't the only one who saw my horrific fall. Now, whenever I see someone fall, trip, have an incident of word vomit, or simply can't think think of the right thing to say, I always try and save face for them and make them feel a little more comfortable.

Chp. 30 Anxiety/Uncertainty Management Theory

Chapter 30, Anxiety/Uncertainty Management Theory is an objective, sociopsychological theory that deals with managing anxiety. Throughout this chapter, the term "mindfulness" can be seen within the reading. Mindfulness, as we learned in class, has to do with how much our anxiety will affect our communication. Everyone, no matter who they are, strives for communication with the least amount of misunderstandings as possible, otherwise known as effective communication. While learning about this chapter, I began thinking about my own experience with this theory. My boyfriend Rick and me always visit his friend, Manny, in Toledo. Manny, along with some new friends of his, attend medical school in Toledo, and we have been hanging out with them when we visit. The first time I met them, I felt that our communication was anything but effective communication. I was too concerned about messing up or sounding stupid in front of them to even really listen to what they were saying. I had SO much anxiety when first meeting all of these people, because I felt inferior (Spiral of Silence tie-in!) to them since they are all soon to be doctors. As I got to know them, however, I realized they are just regular people, and our communication became a lot more effective because I was able to let go of my anxiety of feeling stupid around them. I began with conscious incompetence (uneffective communication, but aware of it) and am now at a level with them that I can display conscious competence (thinking about communication and getting better at it). It is now easier for me to tolerate ambiguity with these medical students, therefore, my anxiety has gone down.

Chp. 29 Spiral of Silence

Chapter 29, Spiral of Silence, is a theory that says we live in fear of isolation, and have the ability to assess the public opinion. Spiral of Silence is termed as the increasing pressure people feel to conceal their views when they think they are the minority. In class, we watched the South Park clip when everyone thought Kenny had head lice. I thought that clip was a great example to show what Spiral of Silence encompasses and how it works in our society. I had my own Spiral of Silence experience around Christmas time with my boyfriends' family. Rick (my boyfriend) and his entire extended family are against abortion. Well, on Christmas, unaware of the family mentality, the topic came up about abortion and I shared that I was pro-choice. I cannot say I would have an abortion myself, but I do feel that it is someone's choice to do what they want. After seeing the reaction of Rick's family's faces, I quickly tried to change my view point and say that I was not being serious, and that "of course I thought abortion was wrong." I changed my own thought because I did not want to be looked down upon by his family, which, if I think about it, I know they would not think less of me even if they did know I was pro-choice. My fear of being isolated and labeled as the minority quickly changed my mind, and made me suppress my true feelings on the subject.

Chp. 28 Agenda-Setting Theory

Chapter 28, Agenda-Setting Theory, is an objective theory that says the media tells us what to think about (first level agenda-setting), and in some cases, how and what to think about it (second level agenda-setting). Framing, as we discussed in class, is a term referring to how audiences tend to select some aspects of a person and make them the MAIN focus. In class, we discussed how Hillary Clinton and Barak O'bama are being exploited for being a woman (Hil) and a black candidate (O'bama). These are traits of the candidates that should not be the deciding factor on their chance at becoming president, but should only be their normal, physical attributes. The public, as well as journalists, news reporters, etc, tend to focus on the information that is less important, and turn it into something so big that it can be the deciding factor in someone's vote. However, this chapter also tells us that not everyone is as affected by the media. There are three types of people who are greatly affected, and that is : People who feel a need for orientation; because they want something to talk about with their peers, people who feel relevance to the topic; such as those who have a relative or friend or husband over in Iraq, and those who simply feel uncertainty and want to know as much as they can about someone or something. With newer media effects, we are about to choose from an abundant amount of sources that fit our liking, however, it is up to us to decide what we buy into, and what we choose to think about for ourselves.

Chp. 27 Cultivation Theory

Chapter 27, Cultivation Theory, is an objective theory from the socio-psychological perspective in which television is "society's storyteller." This theory explains that the more tv people watch (heavy viewers), the more likely they are to view the world like they do the television. This means that, say a heavy viewer watches a lot of violent tv shows, where people are murdered or beaten, then that viewer might have a higher chance at believing in the "mean world syndrome," and feel that the world is a cruel and vicious place, filled with nothing but terrible things. Someone who is a "light viewer", however, is more likely to view the world as it is, ever changing and inconsistent, and know that not everything on television is how it is in the real world. This theory reminds me of my father. A few weeks ago my father had his wallet stolen, and after it happened he said, "You know, I should have known, I was just watching a report on NBC about identity theft and how much it's happening." I'm relating this to my father because as hard of a worker as he is, once he's home, he's watching the tv, and he tends to make hasty judgements because of everything he hears. His golden phrase in our family is, "Ashley, you better be careful, I was watching...". We tend to make fun of him a little too much about it, but it is only fair.

Chp. 23 Dramatism

Chapter 23, Dramatism, is explained by Kenneth Burke as "what he saw going on when people open their mouths to communicate" (329). Although I was sick the day we discussed this Chapter in class, I feel like I have grasped the overall meaning of it. After reading this Chapter, I began thinking of the most recent movie I have seen, "300." In this movie, King Leonitis brings his 300 soldiers to battle the Persians, who were under the rule of the god Zerkses. Zerkses, a selfish and materialistic god, tries to persuade Leonitis to hand over Sparta, and give up their battle. He offers King Leonitis much wealth and power, and tells his he will give him anything he has ever wanted, as long as he hands over his power. Leonitis, a very determined and bright king, uses "dramatistic pentad" to analyze how Zerkses is trying to trick him. He analyzes his "act, scene, agent, agency and purpose" (331). Zerkses' purpose and motivation was to get Leonitis to bow down to him, and offer up his power. In this situation, Zerkses was the act, Leonitis was the agent, the form of agency used was by Zerkses, trying to persuade Leonitis by telling him all of the positive results that would come from his bowing down, and the purpose was for Zerkses to gain as much power as he possibly could. Although Zerkses could not persuade King Leonitis, his use of persuasion and digging deep into the person's mind, is how he did succeed in luring in so many others who succumbed to his vicious rule.

Chp. 20 Cultural Approach to Organizations

Chapter 20, Cultural Approach to Organizations, is a socio-cultural theory that describes how members of an organization create a culture within that organization. During class last week, we watched a clip from Office Space, and the culture that was formed at "Initech." Many of the characteristics of this "work culture" showed weak relationships with bosses, an overabundance of stress, the need for the bosses to repeat information, and also, annoying habits of other workers and their unavoidable strategies.
This chapter made me think of my dad's new business, Patriot Seating, where he hires veterans of the U.S. armed forces to assemble his office furniture. In class, we discussed how many stories are told about companies, and I automatically referenced it to my father's business. When my dad first started Patriot Seating, he used PR and let everyone know WHY he started it. His brother was a Vietnam vet who now suffers from very Traumatic Stress Disorder. He started the business to give jobs to those veterans who were struggling, so they could feel like they were a part of a good cause. This is my dad's "corporate story." There are also personal stories he shares about each and every veteran working there, how dedicated they are and what struggles and hardships they had to go through. We also discussed rituals performed at different organizations, and I actually used it as an example in class, that every day, my dad has his veterans raise and lower the flag, in remembrance of all the lives that were lost, and also, to show the main premise that his business was started from. Although it is not directly put out there, my dad's business is basically its own culture. All of the men and women who work for him have shared very similar experiences, and are all working for a good cause. The comparisons between Initech and Patriot Seating, although having their differences, definitely both demonstrate how organizations create their own cultures and patterns of behaviors.