Chp. 33 Genderlect Styles

I feel that chapter 33, Genderlect Styles, is an amazing theory! It's so true. I totally agree with the example in the book (p. 471-472) where the dialogue from When Harry Met Sally is used to show the miscommunication between men and women. It highlights Tannen's thoughts that men are concerned with status, while women are more concerned with intimacy. I see this problem occur so much, even just with my group of friends who are dating. The women are always asking, "Why would he say that? Doesn't he know it hurts my feelings? Is he shameless?"..while the men are saying, "Who cares? Don't take things so personally." And truly, as women, I feel we do. The miscommunication that occur between men and women are enormous sometimes, and even quite humorous. As much as I love Rick, sometimes when he talks I just want to say, "Shut up and listen to yourself!". I feel like all he talks about is how he wants to make so much money, and how he is the best at this and that, and how "..if I had the chance, I'd go back to that one game and do such and such differently, then we would have won for sure." He is so concerned about his status and he doesn't even know it. My friends make fun of him because he always has to have one up on us, getting the last word in to show us he "knows more" about everything. But truthfully, I see that in a lot of men. When I look at women, I see more of them trying to develop relationships and getting to know someone better, instead of talking about themselves and what they know is right, etc. Although there are occasions, which I'm sure many, where the table is flipped around and roles are reversed, I feel that the overall consensus would show that many people view men as status-driven, while women are more relationship oriented. And sometimes, as hard as some men and women try to communicate effectively, there's just no hope.